I am Julie Brown. I am an auto mechanic. Yep you read that right. I work on and fix cars. I also teach woman basic skills for maintaining their cars to boost their confidence and help them save money. I also know how to fix any home appliance, build a website, do plumbing in a home, lay and grout tile and pretty much any home improvement project including building cabinets for my kitchen. I know how to install a sprinkler system and fix problems with it.. And if I do not know how to do something, I figure it out really fast.
Reading all that I am sure you are like, how can this girl be against the feminist movement? This has girl power written all over it! Let me clarify. I am not against women being powerful and going after things that are not traditionally seen as a women’s job… I think women ARE powerful and can do anything they put their minds to! I believe I am PROOF of that! But the problem is… Because of the feminist movement, women have pushed the need for men out of their lives. They have decided that they do not want the help from the man, because they can do it themselves. Well, yes that is true. Women CAN do it themselves. But that is not the point.
Let me tell you something you already know, women and men are different. They are born with unique roles and gifts. I mean come on! Their physical BODIES are different! And when you talk to a man vs talking to a woman, you are bound to notice very different feelings that men vs women invoke! A strong confident woman who is true to herself will have a peaceful feeling to her, and a strong loving man will have a powerful safe feeling about him. I noticed this difference when I worked in a shop with all men, and then would then be placed in a situation with all women. MAN there is a HUGE difference in how it feels! Both awesome and amazing, but different. Kids can even see this difference.
So why in our society do we think that men and women should be treated EXACTLY the same? Why? WHY should we say we should raise them to be exactly the same? We are DIFFERENT!!!! And thus we should be treated differently! Women and men both have big jobs ahead of them and they should be prepared for those jobs. Boys need to grow up to be REAL men. Girls need to grow up and be REAL women who love and support their men.
The people who get the short end of the stick on this is everyone. Men who are treated like they are not needed or wanted feel as though they no longer belong.. They feel unsupported and yet still have great expectations placed on them! Then we women get the short end of the stick because we say, “where did all the men go?” We tell them we do not need them or want them because we are powerful enough- so we push them away. Our men decide not to be men any more. They do not see the value in magnifying that role because we women do not appreciate it. Then throw in the pornography and video game addiction epidemic into the mix and you can see why that is all happening! We have abandoned our men as a society. Told them they are not needed. They are not feeling fulfilled because of it. So they turn to these things to feel some sort of fulfillment. To feel like they are needed.
To further illustrate my point I would like to share something I have observed about where women are coming from and where they got stuck.
There are 3 stages of independence that we women go through:
- Dependence– can’t or don’t want to (don’t know how or are not strong enough) I NEED my man.
- Independence– CAN and WILL but leave me alone because I want to do it MYSELF (sounds kind of like a toddler) I do not need my man.
- Real Independence– I CAN and will but I love to accept help from my man. I love to have him dote on me, open my doors, protect and provide for me. I know I can do all those things for myself but I love the feeling of safety my man provides for me. I WANT my man.
Before the feminist movement women were stuck in the dependence mode. As you can see, there is much more to life than dependence. So it is not the healthiest place to be. Then the feminist movement brought in the woman’s independence stage. Where they discovered their power. They found out they could do hard things! They could do the same things as men! They no longer needed men and thus should be treated like a man. The problem with this stage is it eliminates the beauty of the relationship between a man and woman. Together we compliment each other. We make our lives more fulfilling and complete. We DID move forward with the feminist movement and some good things came from it, but we never moved on. We got stuck there. We are in a woman power, men bashing society now. Even the TV shows are doing this! The dad is usually portrayed as an idiot. Have you noticed this too? I do not watch much TV but it seems it is moving even more in that direction where parents altogether are portrayed like they do not know anything. Not good. Not good at all.
I propose we move forward yet again. Let us see that yes, we women are powerful. But we want our men. We want them to PROTECT and PROVIDE for us! We DESIRE them. Example: I do not want to have to make dinner every night because I NEED to, I want to make dinner every night because my family WANTS me to and appreciates my efforts! See how that changes things?
I am so happy I have a man in my life, well many of them, but the one I am talking about right now is my husband. I love that we each have our talents and abilities. I love that we can love and support each other and work as a team. And I WANT him in my life. I CHOOSE to have him in my life and I want his help. I want his support. And I WANT to love and support him! Both our jobs become SO MUCH easier when we love and support each other! Our efforts become magnified. Our efforts are multiplied not just added together when we are grateful for and want the contributions of others.
So my question is: How is this going to change your view of your relationships? What are YOU going to do about this?