I am a wife of a business owner. An entrepreneur. Like the only income we have comes from his business. A few years ago, my husband decided to leave his secure job that had just given him a raise for no reason at all.. A company he loved and had been loyal to for 15 years. There was no real logical reason why he quit. Everyone told him to stay in his job. That it was too risky to do this business. But he knew that he wanted to pursue his dreams and the only way to do that was to go out on his own- to pursue this idea he had in his mind for several years. We knew it was going to be hard but we also knew that if it worked, it would be so worth it. Even if it did not work out, we knew it would be worth it. We knew that we would learn so much and it would help us get to the next level in our relationships and life. So he went for it!
When this experience was happening in our life I knew I needed to up my level of supprotiveness for him. I knew he was going to need me to be there cheering him on when he felt down. I knew I needed to be his strength when he was weak. And I was so happy to do that for him. And I did. We went 6 months with making little to nothing… And I have to say, that was one of the hardest 6 months of our life! BUT it was also 6 of the best months! We grew so much closer to each other and to God. We grew as people, parents, business owners, and people. You know the song, “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger!” That song kept going through my head. I would tell myself, “Just make it past this time of struggle and figuring things out,and it will be worth it.” Internal pep talks were happening daily even hourly in my head during this time. Sometimes I would let the hard situation get in my head that I felt so scared of something bad happening, that I was having a hard time breathing. It was not easy. My husband didn’t fair much better, either. So many times he came to me and said, “this is not working.. maybe I should just go get a job…” And I kept talking him out of it.. Telling him not to give up yet. I was doing my best to be his “strength when he was weak.” But it was hard. Tried me to the core. Tested everything I had to hold the line and stay positive and see our potential.
But my commitment was to my husband. I wanted to see him see success. I wanted to see him feel fulfilled in his life. I knew having a job was not going to give that to him. I knew that if he gave up, it would ruin his possibilities of achieving that. No matter how hard it was, I knew it would work and I knew he could achieve his dreams. I WANTED so badly to see him feel fulfilled and happy in his efforts to provide for our family and it kept me going. It kept me believing in him and his ideas. I chose to be his biggest cheer leader. I choose to stand behind him and tell him he can do it. Everyday!
I know full well that if I did not put so much effort into believing in him, that he would not have gone for his dreams in the first place. He would not have gotten past those first few months. He needed that support. He needed a supportive wife who believed in him. It made ALL the difference! I KNOW this as a fact. It was what made the difference.
So when he made that first $16,000, that first month of making money, I knew. I knew that my belief was key to his success.
So wives, even if you are not the provider for the family, you have great power. Your support is KEY. When you believe in your husband, he will and can swim across shark infested waters for you. He can do ANYTHING. Men are simple. And when their needs are met from their wives, they rise up to the challenge. It is like their power and ability gets magnified not just doubled. And one of those needs is feeling supported from his woman.
So the reasons for being a supportive wife are:
- It is the key for your husbands success. Sometimes it also might be the missing piece that might tear a marriage apart. OR it can be the key to success. I choose the success. This applies to everyone. Not just those who are starting their own business like us. Your husband can achieve so much more in their jobs knowing their wife is there behind them, supporting him. Helps him face the hard things of the day. Everyday.
- When you as the wife support your husband, his success becomes YOUR success. You find so much fulfillment and satisfaction in that! You know that you are making a difference. Sometimes as moms and wife’s, we feel like we do not have very many opportunities to feel that success. But playing that role, gives you that feeling of that success too! Win, win!
- He becomes a more supportive husband. One of the best things I have seen from our efforts and transformation over the last few years is that my husband has become so much more supportive of me. Recently we had a discussion in our family about everyone being more helpful in our home. And one of the jobs my husband took on was keeping the kitchen floor swept. He sweeps it almost daily. He helps me keep my kitchen floor clean! It is a simple and easy job that takes less than 5 minutes, but makes a huge difference for me! You want more support? Up your level of support to him. It totally works!
A few ideas on how to show that support:
- write little notes of encouragement. I use a white board in his office to write him positive messages. In fact, my kids have picked up on this and enjoy writing messages to him too! I love that I am setting an example of support and love that my kids can see and emulate. I am setting them up for success in their own marriages! You could write notes to stick in their lunches or wallet…
- Email them. Send them positive emails of encouragement. if they leave their email open on your computer, send an email from their email address from their future self encouraging them to keep going. (that’s a fun one!)
- Send text messages during the day. Tell them how awesome and powerful they are. Build them up big time! Tell them how excited you are to see them be successful and reach their dreams and goals! and how thankful you are for their efforts to provide for your family.
- When you see them at the end of the day, hug them tight and with all the love and gratefulness you can muster tell them how proud you are of them.
- Speak words that empower him as a man. Tell him how manly he his, how strong and powerful he his. Tell him that you love how big, strong and capable his hands are.
- Lay your head on his chest and allow him to hold you nice and strong and tell him how safe you feel in his arms. How thankful you are that he is such a dedicated husband, father and provider.
The way you view and treat your husband has a huge impact on him! I have seen first hand the impact it makes. I did not always do these things. I would encourage you to try this, and commit to keep doing this even if it feels awkward at first. You wont see amazing things right away, it takes time. Commit to this. Commit to believing in your husband and treating him like you do too.
I would love to hear from you. What are you going to do to up your level of support to your husband? Please comment to let me know! And if you have additional ideas that I did not cover, please comment those below too. And if you would like to download my free training about marriage meetings, please click here. It is such a powerful way to get better at communication in your marriage. It made a huge difference in mine and many others who have implemented it.